Thursday, January 28, 2010

Trust in You

Lord, I'm hungry. Lord, I'm thirsty for more. I wait for you. How long will you hide your face from me? How long until this uncertain time is over? Lord, I trust You. You have proven your faithfulness over and over and I believe You will not fail me this time either. Your love and mercy endure, even when it doesn't feel or look like it. I trust in You; I'm sure you will not put to shame those who put all their faith in you.

I am still waiting on God and searching for a job, any where in the world, at this point :) I have no idea what door God is working to keep open, but a bunch of them seem to be closing, no matter the prodding. I thank the Lord I have people around me to encourage, support, love, give counsel, and pray for me. I am thankful for this time that I have to focus on the Lord and search for jobs.

PS> It's still really weird to actually be considered an adult. I find it hard to take charge (when I'm assigned) when there are older adults around me...strange how I suddenly found myself in these shoes...

Thursday, January 21, 2010


Romans 8
But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait forit with perseverance.
26 Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. 27 Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according tothe will of God.

Psalm 23
1 The LORD is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
3 He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

Needing prayer in this time of weakness.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Discovering something about myself

So, today I discovered a few things about myself:
It's really strange to suddenly find myself in the peer-group of people who used to babysit me, reprimand me, and who I used to think were SO much older than I. It's cool and a bit scary reconnecting with people I haven't seen in decades and the last time they saw me was when I was like 5-6 years old...
So, when I asked one of these people who knew me when I was 5-6 years old about what I was like then, I was struck that her observation of my character and personality back then is still actuality: me loving story time, being confident, being comfortable with a variety of situations, and wild :)

Monday, January 4, 2010

A New Year, New Identity

It's been way too long since I've posted on here.
Here are just the few significant things that have happened since:

  • I graduated with a BA in Business Administration with honors
  • I got to spend Christmas with my family
  • I have been to a significant wedding of 2 of my friends from Toccoa
  • I have said goodbye to close friends and my whole life in Toccoa
  • I have traveled over 1,000 miles in the last 5 days
  • I have been sad, grieving, and happy a lot
That all may not sound like a lot, but it's really worn on me physically, emotionally, and mentally. What drains me the most is saying goodbye. Goodbye not only to friends, a school, and a physical location, but also to what it all signifies: security, comfort, normalcy, identity, schedule, and predictability. Truth be told, I did not think I would be so shaken by the removal of these things. After all, am I not the one who always is up for more traveling, adventure, trying out new things, hating routine, and not wanting to "settle." Man.

Also, I find that I'm having to rediscover who I am and that my identity is now so much that of an "adult." No more blaming mistakes, needs, and sillyness to being a "college student." I feel like I was in that system and when I'm suddenly booted out, I have no idea what to do with myself. I don't feel ill-equipped, but reality is so much colder and blunter. Now I'm even more solo, assuming more responsibility, making more decisions, establishing myself. I know that I'm a deep thinker, analytical, sentimental, and emotional. These are things I've known and finding out so much more over the last few weeks. I'll let you know what else I discover about myself.

Transitions. Change. A normal part of life, i guess, but I feel suspended somehow. Like emotionally and mentally, even geographically I'm making a few stops here and there, not knowing my destination or what my purpose will be there. I guess I sorta feel like Abraham in the Bible and reading about him--including the blessings, encouragement, and warnings God gave him--make me realize we're sort of on the same journey of faith.