Nostalgic in November

This November has been full of activity, mom's visit, dentist visit, a train trip, church events, and even snow!

My mom was still here during the first week of this month and I myself was surprised at how quickly I got back into normal life after she left. I've now been in Germany 4 months and by God's grace I've so quickly gotten used to things and feel so well in my home, at church, at work, being independent, etc.

The dentist said I have good "mouth hygiene" but should think about getting my wisdom teeth pooled at a convenient time (when is pain convenient?!)

I took a 4 hour train trip to meet for the first time and visit a pen-pal with whom I've managed to keep up with for the last 14 years. She's a deaconess (sorta like a nun but she doesn't live in a monastery) with the evangelical church in Germany. I'm so happy to report that she's a true believer and we had so many good conversations and walks through the snow. It was encouraging to be there and engage with her deep questions.

When I came back home, I found that we in the south had gotten snow also! In fact, it's still on the ground and snowing more as I write. Everything is covered in white dust and all the house owners are responsible to keep walkways shoveled or else we get sued if someone falls around our house...So we shovel all the time to keep it from building up too much.

Last night was the highlight of this month, I think. I organized and hosted an Elders Dinner. I know they put a lot of time and energy into buying the property we just did for the church and I thought they deserved some honor and spoiling for that. I divided it out so that everyone in the church had something to do and somehow with a collaborated effort on everything, we pulled off a 4 course dinner in my romantically-decorated living room :) And us serving had so much fun too and the food was amazing. It was so cool to see the different families represented in this one evening and I do believe it greatly encouraged and touched the elders.

Since last month, another major thing has happened: I am now officially the leader of the girls' small group. Their leader has left and the responsibility very naturally fell to me, as I was quite involved with the group and the girls' lives. I wouldn't have imagined taking over at all, but am amazed again at God's timing and way of things and now willingly and joyful accept this role. I don't take it lightly either, though, because leading a small group means giving direction, structure, empowerment, teaching, etc., which has sort of been lacking. I myself need great wisdom and humility for this role. I appreciate your prayers.

Be looking out for my newsletter soon!

Last month of October

Wow, this past month has gone by so quickly!

Some highlights:

--Started using the heater because we've been getting below freezing during the night

--Got a birdy named Yesil ("Green" in Turkish because he's a beautiful deep green)

--My mom's here to visit!!

--Took the Scooter out for a night in Basel with TWO of us on it...that was interesting as we realized the tires need some pumping up and then it started raining on our way back!!

--Got a cold and am getting over it pretty quickly, praise God

--I know I have people around me who really care about me. I see this in that they hug me, turn on the heater knowing I easily get cold, invite me over, give me flowers, come over spontaneously...

--I found out that one of my elderly neighbors won't be coming back to live there anymore because she has gotten too weak and dependent :(

--I tutored a neighbor kid in English and he got a B on his test! woohoo!

--I have the most beautiful drive to work, especially with the trees turning firey colors and skies bright blue (when it's not overcast...)

--I can't believe that my birthday is coming up so soon and I will be 23!!

--Getting used to things at work and enjoying working with numbers and money when it calculates out right :)

PRAISE AWAITS YOU, KING OF GLORY. COME!

Sewing Class Testimony

Upon coming to Germany, I was really excited about adult classes being offered at the local highschool in subjects varying from travel, craftwork, dance, to...sewing. Since being a senior in highschool, I've wanted to learn how to sew. I learned alittle bit from my host mom in TX that year, but dived at this chance to learn more.

I signed up...and got declined because the class was already full. I was really sad because I see this as such an opportune time in life to learn--the class is offered, I have a sewing machine here, and I actually have the time to learn and practice. So I figured that if God knows this deep desire of mine and it didn't work out, that there must be a reason...perhaps something regular will come up on Monday nights that He will need me to be involved in.

Last week I got an email saying another class was being offered and I signed up! Last night was the first class and afterwards I realized why God closed the doors for the original class: the class I'm in has only 6 participant (more teacher attention!!) and most are beginners, meaning they won't already have a bunch of projects and advanced problems like the ladies from the original course would have had. Phew> save myself that embarrassment of learning!

LESSON: God IS in control. He DOES know how He's leading you. HE knows what's best for me, He loves me the most, and is able to bring all things to pass according to His perfect plan.

Praise, honor, glory to the Lord Almighty.

Stars for Germany

Growing up, I had mixed feelings about Germany--going from awe, to thinking it's a perfect place, to hating it because I had to be here when I wanted to be in Turkey, to never wanting to live there, to not caring that I hadn't been back in 5 years.

When we realized I might be moving to Germany, God approached me about the subject when I was going running one night. We talked about my experiences and evaluations of Germany. There were tears, surrender, healing, and a new open heart towards Germany.

Now I live in Germany. I honestly haven't considered living here since...a decade. But now that I'm here at God's command and good pleasure, I am content. Here are a few things I like about Germany, despite its shortcomings like every country:

--I LOVE all the flowers (many geraniums) that you see on every house, whether in the house, on the window sills, hanging outside from the window sill, in pots welcoming people in...

--I appreciate the cleanness. Every Saturday is "Sweep Day" in which the families rotate sweeping the road and sidewalk in front of their portion of the house.

--I haven't been to many regions in Germany, but where I live, in the Blackforest, is just breath-taking with its many hills, vineyards, trees, castles, fresh air...makes me smile thinking about it!

--As complicated, expensive, and ridiculous as the system is here, it works. You register something, it gets registered. You request this and that from the government, you get it. If you are sick, you're covered. If you're unemployed, 'socially weak,' or dying, you still don't end up on the streets

--People greet you when you pass them

--I love the different dialects and the many ways the dialects express the same thing (though this can be frustrating too because I never know which to use!)

--For online banking, there's a cool calculator thing that generates security codes so that everything you do is super confidential

--And I love how people really spend time outside.

--My neighbors rock, especially in the garden that one of them created:

Book Thoughts on "The Hiding Place"

I just got done reading "The Hiding Place" by Corrie Ten Boom. It's her biography of life during World War II when the Nazis invaded her safe town in Holland and she was dragged away to a labor camp in Nazi central country: Germany.

This was the kind of book that I always saw on the shelf at the school library but never checked out because of its ambiguous title and the cover was just not inviting at all. Alas, my sister didn't take the book with her when she moved to America this summer, so I started reading it...and could hardly put it down...

The story of her undercover work to hide Jews, her courage and faith to maintain that operation, her capture, her struggles during this time come together in a very fascinating book. She was not younger than 50 years old when she began this kind of extraordinary life and then was punished for it. Corrie and her sister Betsy, both under the mercy of the merciless socialist party, encouraged one another in the Word of God and in faith. Betsy even thanked God for the fleas that were in their quarters. Only later did they find out that it was because of the fleas that guards never came close and thus were they able to tell the others about God and teach His Word.

Another lesson from Corrie that is significant for me is this example:

Her dad once asked Corrie when he gives her the train tickets. "Just before we board, so I don't lose them," she replied. Her father reminded Corrie (and me) that just like that, our Father in Heaven knows when we need what and He does not give before just the right time. He gives us strength, courage, and grace right when we need it.

Great read!

A bondservant of Christ

Bondservant: I am struck by that. The depth of that word is overwhelming. I am a bondservant of Christ. I was slave to sin, law, and satan. I could have never paid my way out of it because the debt would take life times to pay off. Then comes Jesus and offers redemption by paying the price, and not just paying with gold or silver, not paying grudgingly and to barely cover my debt. No, He covers my debt with the most precious thing He has--His life! I am not worth someone paying such a high price for me, but He declared me worth of His blood! Wow. Now, in thankfulness, I willingly become a servant to Christ. Yet in this bond, He offers true life, freedom, eternality... Such thoughts are too wonderful for me! It is high, I cannot attain it. In Christ Alone

Stuart Townend, Keith Getty

In Christ alone my hope is found, He is my light, my strength, my song; this Cornerstone, this solid Ground, firm through the fiercest drought and storm. What heights of love, what depths of peace, when fears are stilled, when strivings cease! My Comforter, my All in All, here in the love of Christ I stand. In Christ alone! who took on flesh Fulness of God in helpless babe! This gift of love and righteousness Scorned by the ones he came to save: Till on that cross as Jesus died, The wrath of God was satisfied - For every sin on Him was laid; Here in the death of Christ I live. There in the ground His body lay Light of the world by darkness slain: Then bursting forth in glorious Day Up from the grave he rose again! And as He stands in victory Sin's curse has lost its grip on me, For I am His and He is mine - Bought with the precious blood of Christ. No guilt in life, no fear in death, This is the power of Christ in me; From life's first cry to final breath. Jesus commands my destiny. No power of hell, no scheme of man, Can ever pluck me from His hand; Till He returns or calls me home, Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

A Casual Divine Appointment

I was talking to my garden the other morning when I heard the two neighbor kids talking:

"God is invisible."

"There is no God."

Before they could say anything else, I piped in saying,

"I've seen God!" :) They looked at me like I was an angel! I proceeded to tell them about how we can see the Spirit of God moving like we can see leaves moved by the wind. We can see God by His actions around us. I told them about Jesus, how He created everything for Himself, through Himself, out of love for us.

They started getting the picture and marvelingly asked if God even made the airplanes, mommy and daddy, and their bicycles.

It was a beautiful encounter to sow truth in these kids' minds.

Praise be to God.

MKs Observed

So, tonight I got to eat dinner with a bunch of MKs who knew each other most of growing up years and now attend a boarding school together. Of course the conversation flowed with news of their parents in another country, of childhood memories, and just the depth of personality knowledge they have of each other.

As I listened and joined in some, it made me incredibly miss my own MK friends that I grew up with. Breni, Kel, Val, Eune, Johanna, the Fowlers, Mandy, Hannah, and many others who went in and out of my life in Turkey...Actually, tonight was just a manifestation of my sentimentality, because for some reason, I've been thinking about each of these now-young adults all throughout this week. There's a depth of connection with these people just because we spent childhood years together but because we got to be involved with such a kingdom-expanding work via our parents. And I love how MKs can immediately reconnect and include other MKs they never met, just because we have our own sub-culture that can't be put into words. It's just a special bond :)

So, any MK friends reading this, thank you for being in my life and I want you to know how dearly I remember my time with you and would give so much for all of us to be together in the same place again. But be ye all blessed as you grow into adult life and make new life-long friends.

Desert Song

This song is so incredible. In high and low--which can be counted on--what matters is how we respond in those situations. During this time of transition--filled with some difficulty but also with a lot of joy and growth--I will choose to say, "Blessed be the name of the LORD."

Desert Song ~Hillsong

This is my prayer in the desert,

When all that's within me feels dry,

This is my prayer in my hunger and need,
My God is the God who provides,

And this is my prayer in the fire,
In weakness, or trial, or pain,
There is a faith proved more worth than gold,
So refine me Lord through the flame,

I will bring praise,
I will bring praise,
No weapon formed against me shall remain,
I will rejoice, I will declare,
God is my victory and He is here,

This is my prayer in the battle,
When triumph is still on its way,
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ,
So firm on his promise I'll stand,

All of my life, in every season,
You are still God,
I have a reason to sing,
I have a reason to worship,

And this is my prayer in the harvest,
When favour and providence flow,
I know I'm filled to be emptied again,
The seed I receive I will sow

Out: Car; In: Cat

My car got sold! Praise God! Friends in Colorado managed, showed, and sold my car while I've been in Germany. I wasn't sure how my car would get sold and of course I was praying God would sell it or show me what else to do, but when a buyer was interested, it went so fast. Shame on me for doubting God's timing (mine would have been the last week I was in America!).

The same day, my neighbor also gave me a cat! I named him Maexli and he's super cute, 3 months old. It's so nice just to know that there's something else breathing and active (!!) in the house with me. He's gotten used me, follows me around, plays a lot, but even cuddles! He's a gift, and I have a few more days to decide whether to keep Maexli. Of course I do, but with me leaving here again in a year and with the upcoming year being so uncertain with daily life, I'm not sure how much I'll be home to enjoy him. I know I would love it when we're here together, but if I'm gone alot or travel, he'll be alone :( So, please pray for wisdom for me!

Transition has been going better. Last week was a little difficult, but I received prayer and I've been filled with more joy, peace, songs, and hope. As one mentor said, these transition days are unique and out of the box. I should enjoy them and journal about them, for I will be wishing them back when I have major structure and schedule in my day/life. Someone else wise gave me a great analogy about transition:

Right now I'm in a tunnel that leads me from one place to another. I'm no longer where I have been and am not yet fully at the place where I will be. Praise God, I know where I'm heading eternally but also in the next few months, but I know I am in the will of God. In the tunnel, however, it is often dark and there's no cell phone coverage :) So you might think you're lost and are getting no direction, but God is Light and in the tunnel, you have to go by what He's already told you.

To the praise of the glory of His grace.

Thoughts on Furlough and My new friend

My parents went back to their own home earlier this week and now I'm here on my own. I know I'm not alone alone, but it's strange being here without my parents, since this is their house when they're in Germany and I've never been here without them. Our furniture and everything over 20 years old is still here and when we come back on furlough, it's like we come to a place where time has frozen. We still use our old stuff (who needs new stuff when you only use it a few weeks a year anyway?), reunite with our loyal friends, attend the same church, and do life for a few weeks before we leave again.

Furloughs were always fun for us kids because we got to eat the yummy German food, see our old friends, buy new clothes, and ride our bikes to get everywhere. For my parents it wasn't as restful between speaking engagements, filing taxes, getting us kids and themselves to all the check-up appointments, and still having on their minds the things that are going on with the church in Turkey. Anyway, it was nice to be with my parents here in Germany as a 'grown-up' after I haven't been here for 5 years.

Since they've been gone, I've tried to keep myself busy by adapting the flat to my taste and making friends with our kind neighbors. One of them is a lady over 70 years old who knew me when we lived in Germany 17 years ago and she really likes my family. Well, she lives on her own also, but for the last 2 days, she has invited me over for lunch and it's been such a sweet time with her telling me stories from her life and us reading the Bible together and praying. It's a blessing for both of us to have something and someone to look forward to and we don't have to eat lunch alone!

Praise God.

A Stranger in my own Country

Yup, I definitely feel like a stranger and foreigner here!

--I talk funny (they say "with a 'slang'")

--I ask grammar and vocabulary questions that the Germans just take at face value

--I hardly know how to get around

--I ask silly questions

--I view the culture, people, and behaviors objectively, as an outsider looking in rather than an inside German

--I have to learn a whole new system of laws, regulations, norms, speech, etc

It's weird. I feel like such an American here with my good smelling shampoo and smell stuff, with my flip flops and jeans, with my water bottle, and with all my American "stuff." Weird. I wonder if this American-ness will stay with me all my life or if I will be transformed back into a German throughout the span of this year...

...in the mean time, being quite aware that I'm a stranger on this earth in general. My citizenship is in Heaven.

Stay tuned :)

Thoughts on Transitions

While I AM arriving back "home" full-circle seemingly, in Germany, it still is a transition time. My energy and motivation isn't quite in full gear and during the day I get lost with what to do.

I've realized that transition times are difficult for me because it's a waiting time: waiting for life to get into a schedule, getting into new rhythms, waiting for me to establish credibility and give people a chance to get to know me, waiting to feel like I belong here...

Transitions are a change in gear and I would think that growing up as a missionary kid and having moved around since then, I would be really flexible and used to hello good-byes. But I don't feel any more immune to it. Is it ever going to get easier? Will I always have this "TCK" (Third culture kid) syndrome of not being able to identify or fully arrive with any one culture or country? Feeling rooted in many places, yet realizing not a lot of those roots are super deep?

Please read this

This week, my family got to go to the little town where my mother grew up and where my uncle now lives and runs a Christian rehabilitation center for people needing emotional, spiritual, and physical help in life. They use an amazing integration of worship, therapy sessions, community, and work.

My uncle and his wife have given everything to run this house (an extension of their own house) and to help these people who need some extra grace and patience with everything. Five years ago, I lived at the house for 2 weeks to help out with whatever was needed and just hang out with the residents. Already back then I was in such support of what my uncle was doing. It was really neat to go back this year, five years later with some more life experience as well as some counseling/psychology and theology classes under my belt. Again, I was really touched and the whole deal really had an impression on me--how needy people there can find a balance of 'methods' that gives room to heal and become a more whole person.

Even the worship time in the mornings has developed to be more hands-on and integrative (such as having the residents lay a paper crown at the foot of the cross to symbolize laying down their glory for Jesus'). In this way, the residents are more engaged and it can be very therapeutic for them.

Anyway, thought I would share this.

Safe Arrival

I made it safe and sound to Germany!

This past trip from Denver to Germany was the most hassle-free, convenient, comfortable, and fastest ever! And that with the most luggage and pounds I've ever traveled with. Praise be to God!

I had a very welcoming, sweet greeting rally meet me at the airport and it's been great to be with my family the last few days and just get adjusted back to Germany.

So, a few things I've noticed:

--In England, whoever said tights on girls are out of fashion, was majorly not "in style."

--It's hot here! I thought I was getting away from the heat, but I come here to find that this area is in a heat wave. And I'm realizing how humid even low humidity feels because I've gotten used to dry Colorado!

--It's so pretty here!! When I look around here (where I lived until age 5) I realize that it's no wonder I totally fell in love with the green Appalachians mountains in Georgia and Kentucky

--It's very clean here

--It's such a blessing to already to know a few people from way back when and that they are making efforts to re-connect. Yey!

Thanks for all your prayers, friends!

2 Days to go

Training went so great! My teacher has been so patient, funny, and going at a perfect pace for me. I feel like I am gaining a whole new, wonderful, big family by joining this organization. Yey!

Now I'm back in Denver and have 2 days before I fly out! I still have lots of re-packing to do, cleaning, saying good-bye, trying to sell my car, and trying to process all this! Everything is coming so fast now and I'm very excited to be joining my family in Germany, but it's sad also to be leaving here...

Upcoming Week

Well, lots going on this week!

So far, training for the new job has been going great! This week I have a few more days learning about QuickBooks and some company lingo and procedures, but I have a great teacher.

The rest of the week after Wednesday will include packing, buying some supplies I can't get overseas, saying good-bye, and (God willing!!) selling my car!

Please pray for peace, wisdom, discernment, and a continuous, conscious awareness of the LORD's presence.

"God sightings"

So, I've been helping out with the Egypt-themed Vacation Bible School at Wellspring Anglican Church this week and we're building a pyramid from brick-colored paper on which the kids write out their "God sightings."

These are ways in which we see God work and remind us of His love through any means around us.

My sightings in the last 2 days have been:

>Seeing the majesty of Pike's Peak (a high mountain in Colorado Springs)

>The laughter of children

>A little girl asking me if I will dance with her

>Bunnies and squirrels chasing each other around

>The fresh air

>Reading and just being in the presence of a good friend

>The sound of the wind in the trees

Countdown: 25 days remaining the United States of America. Mixed feelings.

I GOT THE JOB!!!

For a few months now, an organization here in the USA has been recruiting me for their new office in Europe. At first, I was unwilling and hesitant, but after much prayer and surrender, I started the application process and got the job offer!!

I will be a "regional financial coordinator" doing accounting, administration, and various other tasks. The plan is to leave the US the third week of July and I'll be moving back to my hometown in Germany! It's so perfect that the office will be located there and I will get to live in my family's house there> I'm so excited!

It's been an incredible, filled with "God-details" journey, but here at the end of my time in America, it's taking me right back to where I was born :)

Stay tuned for details!

Update

Well, recently there's just been a lot of day-to-day life that I've been enjoying. It's a grace to be able to utilize this season in which I'm on a tourist visa to just relax and be for a while. I've been reading a lot, memorizing some Scripture, posting ads to sell my car, hanging out with a few people I've met here in Denver, and see how I can help out however and whoever I can. It's been good and I praise God that I can enjoy it.

I'm still waiting for the finality of it, but it looks like a job is cooking up for me in Germany! Many things have been pointing towards it and I've had a great heart-change about moving back, but either way, I'll be leaving the USA at the end of July. This has a lot of implications for me--many good-byes to people, lifestyle, some dreams, knowing how to get around, and to life as I've built it for the last few years since being in America. But all these things--and the whole world!--is in our Father's loving and gentle hands.

God is faithful!